Apologies and Updates ...
Greetings ADO Fans My apologies for being away for so many months. Many events have occurred in my personal life over the past few months that took quite a toll on me. As a result of these events I strayed far from my dedication to this blog and far from my enjoyment of Asian dramas. I've been pretty silent about things and I want to thank everyone who has written me emails - even the mean ones *smile* - wondering where I've been and what's been going on. It's nice to know that I have some fans out there - even kind of rabid ones - *laugh* that really enjoy and were missing my commentaries. Because of your continued support I wanted to be open and honest and let everyone know what's been going on since September and what my plans are.
The Economy And Lay Offs A couple of my tribemates were laid off due to the struggling economy. This definitely impacted our family and we have been struggling to maintain our home and continue to support those who rely on us. It even looked for a while like we might lose our home. Currently things are still up in the air and despite searching, interviewing, and part-time work, no permanent jobs have been found and we continue to struggle as unemployment benefits begin to run out. We are sticking together as we have for over 15 years, trying to ensure that our tribe stays together, and that we continue to help others as best we can. The stress of this difficult time has been weighing heavily on me for many months and definitely effects my ability to find time to watch, enjoy, and write on any kind of entertainment medium.
Family Tragedy My grandfather passed away on November 9th. He was well loved and will be greatly missed by all of us.
Devastating News On November 11th my mother was admitted to the hospital due to severe stomach pain. They did a cat scan and found a mass on her pancreas. After some further testing she was diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer. This has been quite a blow to our whole family especially so soon after my grandfathers death. My stepmother also died of cancer shortly after Thanksgiving two years ago. I am very close to my mother and this has been a difficult time for me. She's a feisty and strong woman and we are all doing what we can to be supportive to her and each other.
I miss writing. I miss being able to spend hours watching Asian drama.
I have never been someone to watch movies, television, or any other media entertainment to escape from my life. I'm far too analytical and anal to pretend I don't have problems for a few hours to escape into the fantasy of something on television. If my mind is not in the right place I cannot enjoy mediums of entertainment especially when it comes to the kind of commentaries and reviews I write which go far beyond "oh this was good" and "you should watch this." I need to be in a focused and clear minded place to watch and write and that has been nearly impossible since September.
I want to continue this blog. Somehow I want to find my focus and my passion again to delve into these amazing dramas and entertain all of you with my own unique brand of writing, analysis, and humor. I want to be able to get back to a place of finding beauty and wisdom again in this medium. It is just increasingly difficult to be able to do those things when my mind is filled with dread, fear, pain, and depression about recent and continuing events happening in my personal and family life.
As a therapist I know my first duty is to my own mental awareness and health. I cannot drown myself in drama or in writing distractions in order to avoid dealing with and processing all that has happened. At the same time I also have to remember that I need to retain something of my own strength, passion, and positivity and continue to push forward in my own life and not be held back by negative emotions and self defeating distortions based on all the events going on around me. I need to find my own light again so that I can continue to shine upon others who need my support and strength during these difficult times.
That is my main focus right now. That is the mountain I am traversing with all my might and determination. And I know that at the top of that mountain is clean, fresh air ... a view of a brighter and more positive future ... and a HUGE PILE of new and unwatched Asian dramas! *smile*
A new year is coming ... I promise that I will see you all there ...