Orthros no Inu : Intro

About The Subs

I am watching the 704x480 (720p) hardsub version of this drama from Querbeet. There is also a 1280 version available. I have nothing but good things to say about the quality of this release. I am reminded of Maou when watching this series, aside from the fact that several actors from Maou appear in it, but also because these subs remind me of the quality of STORMY subs on that series. The hardsubs done by Querbeet are very simple and easy to read with a nice dark red outline that adds a nice mood to the text given the already heavy ambiance of the drama itself. Something that I think is overlooked - and also overdone if handled badly - is the fact that oftentimes subtitles are a part of the experience of watching dramas. Careful choosing of the font can add, and also distract, from watching a series. Querbeet has done a great job here keeping the overall feel of the drama cleanly expressed in the subs without making them distracting.

On With The Show!

I cannot put my finger on it but somehow ... in some way ... for some reason ... this drama sucks. I honestly cannot begin to tell you why. I watched the first episode yesterday and I spent all day wondering why I was having such a hard time writing on it. I decided to sleep on it and start fresh this morning. I really thought to myself, "I need to give myself several hours because I am sure I will have a lot to say." and here I sit, at 8:30am going ... ... ... ... *yawn* ... I'm still at a bit of a loss and I really am not sure why. I think, as I write this commentary, the issues I have with this drama will reveal themselves naturally.

I have been looking forward to this drama since I first posted news about it back in June. The concept alone was rather intriguing even though, from a psych perspective, I find heavily contrived moral dilemmas to be about as thought provoking as listening to breeders talk about their children’s accomplishments in kindergarten. In the hands of the Japanese though, any remotely interesting plot, can often become something magical and lyrical because Asian perspectives on even the most simplest of ideas often explore some additional level that most people don’t think about or notice. (The entire purpose of this blog is to examine those levels and bring them to light) I have no idea why then, in Orthros no Inu, something that should be and could be an interesting concept in the hands of the Japanese, turns out to be so utterly lame.

The plot of Orthros no Inu is deceptively simple: There is one man, Ryuzaki Shinji, who has the heart and soul of the Devil and with one touch can cure any illness and heal any injury and there is another man, Aoi Ryosuke, who has the heart and soul of an Angel and with one touch can kill any person instantly. Just from that your eyes kind of open wide and your brain perks up and thinks … ok, this might be interesting. On paper and in theory it has the makings of a very interesting concept, the problem is that a concept is hardly enough to create a compelling drama. It is my belief, after this first episode, that Orthros no Inu plans to really try and address some interesting questions about moral fiber and choice. Ok, that's simple enough, but what kinds of truly original questions can you really ask under these common circumstances?

Let's examine the concept a bit more closely …

Aoi Ryosuke, played by Nishikido Ryo, is a good man with the ability to kill anyone instantly by touching them. He is depicted as being a dedicated and respected high school teacher that is well liked by his students (they call him –kun instead of –sensei even) and he seems to have a good relationship with his family. His "Devil's Hand" is something that he uses only through force of will. In other words it's not like he just touches something and it dies or that he has no control. He must want it to happen - he must have the emotion and the desire to kill when he touches someone. Well, ok, this seems fairly standard and uninteresting. Don't we all have this ability? If you want to kill someone you have to desire it and make it happen with your own hand. Good or bad person alike. It is a choice everyone makes is it not? Whether you do it by touching someone, stabbing someone, shooting someone or otherwise, it is still a decision you make happen with your heart and mind. How is Aoi-san any different from an average person? He spends a lot of time looking at his hand (both characters do) and I could stare at my own hand and wonder also, "Could this hand kill someone?" … of course it could. We're all capable from a psychological standpoint. Any hand can be the "Devil's Hand" and therefore Aoi-san is hardly a character that brings up any unique questions or stirs anything beyond mild interest in my mind. Watching him on screen I do not feel sorry for him or feel compelled to care about his torment because, hello, we're all the same in this way. He is simply a good man who has a choice of whether or not he wants to harm someone using negative thoughts and the power of his touch. How is that unique? How is that even interesting? That's every person on the planet so far.

Ryuzaki Shinji, played by Takizawa Hideaki, is a criminal and seemingly a sociopath, who has the power to cure any illness or heal any injury with his touch. He's not technically the opposite of Aoi-san because he cannot bring people back to life, he can only heal them – at least that's what he says. If this is true I have a problem with this inconsistency in their similar powers. They are posed to us as opposites - good/evil, white clothes/dark clothes, etc - and yet their powers are not on the same scale. If Aoi-san could only give people terrible sickness or something to that effect then it would be even, but he can actually kill them and therefore he has significantly more power than Ryuzaki who can only heal the sick. This difference may seem slight but it doesn't put them on remotely the same level at all.

Ryuzaki-san is, in much the same way as Aoi-san, not the most compelling character. He chooses to be evil instead of using his "God hand" for the purpose of healing unless it is to his benefit. Ok … again … is this not like a majority of people on this planet who have the possibility of doing great things but choose instead to be selfish? Or, in an extreme sense, choose to be a problem in society instead of helping others find solutions to societal problems? Just like Aoi-san, Ryuzaki-san has to choose when he wants to heal someone, he has to put that force of will behind it. This is, of course, the same as people in society who have to decide that they want to go out of their way to be kind, to be helpful, or to go above and beyond for another person. It is easy to be selfish and the majority of the population proves this on a daily basis. It's even easier to be a jackass and create problems which the majority of the population also proves just as readily.

So what is the real concept behind Orthros no Inu? I suppose, looking at it clearly, the idea is that people can choose how they want to use the skills they have in the world around them. They can choose to be a force of positivity in the world and be themselves a tool of light, strength, and inspiration to others or they can choose to be a force of negativity and be themselves a tool of darkness, fear, and devastation to others. This is kind of a no brainer isn't it? Wrapped in the contrived supernatural powers of "God hand" and "Devil's hand" the concept of Orthros no Inu sounds more interesting than it actually is. That is not to say that this idea of choosing the correct path couldn't be made into a really unique story. Frankly almost all Asian drama has this idea within it anyway in some way, shape, or form. I'm just saying that Orthros no Inu seems … heavy-HANDED (GONG!!!!!!) and because of that the drama seems disappointingly lame instead of being an intriguing way of looking at a very simple, but poignant, idea.

Just because you have a simple concept that doesn't mean you cannot have a brilliantly executed and powerful story to showcase it. Think about Death Note, to which Orthros pays a conspicuously large amount of homage to, which was about a guy who could kill people by simply writing their name in a notebook. Incredibly simple idea but it was laid out in the most complex and intriguing way. The manga went 108 chapters, the anime went 37 episodes, and there were 2 movies for God's sake. The Orthros no Inu story has only 8 episodes? Seriously? Many people argue that Death Note was amazing for the first 10 or 15 episodes and then just dragged on and on into something that "much sucked desu". I am inclined to agree with that since I was on the edge of my seat for a long time but bored senseless for longer. Will Orthros no Inu benefit from a shorter run? Maybe ... but from what I saw in the first episode I want to say that the whole series will probably feel much like it started ... like standing in a downpour of cold rain without an umbrella. I hope to be proven wrong.

Aside from Death Note, Orthros no Inu, steals from another famously popular story, Silence Of The Lambs. They ripped, not even creatively, from a directorial, atmospheric, and performance perspective, nearly the ENTIRE introduction sequence between Clarice and Hannibal including the "cold reading" analysis he does of her personality and clothing.

Orthros No Inu	Silence Of The Lambs
Orthros No Inu	Silence Of The Lambs
Orthros No Inu	Silence Of The Lambs
Orthros No Inu	Silence Of The Lambs
Orthros No Inu	Silence Of The Lambs
Orthros No Inu	Silence Of The Lambs

Did I mention that when Ryuzaki-san escapes he disguises himself as a police officer/guard? COME ON! He dresses like "L" and has the same intelligence but also has the psychologically manipulative style and prison accommodations as Hannibal Lecter? What moron dreamed this up? Oh wait ... they didn't have to dream anything up, they just STOLE it because they had no creativity whatsoever. Come on it's practically frame per frame! This is sloppy, blatant, and can hardly be called a homage. It's just a ripoff and not even a good ripoff.

Think of creative media as the end result of a really ingenious recipe with a few choice ingredients. First, you take a good concept and wrap that with an equally good, if not better, story. Stroke the story with a nice thick, juicy, and tantalizing coating of plot as this is crucial to not only story cohesion but it also infuses the original concept with additional flavor. Finally, serve the finished piece on a bed of characters and good dialog, then drizzle on some tangy musical accompaniment, and, hucha-hucha-hucha, you have a finished piece of creative media! The problem with Orthros no Inu is that, at its heart, it is only a mildly interesting concept and in a case like this, what I want to see, and what the viewers need to experience, are strong characters and gripping dialog that can carry a lightweight story into heavier and more powerfully melodramatic places. When your concept is vague you really need to wrap it in a story that can beef it up and make it seem like there is more to it, kind of like eating more vegetables with a light meal. So far the story seems foggy, the characters are cliché, the dialog is something a elementary school student might write, and the withered vegetables they added are random and equally vague Greek themes that attempt to give depth to something that is already drowning in the shallow end of a kiddie pool.

Orthros, not the most well known mythical hound, was slain by Hercules. Like Cerberus, which more people are probably acquainted with, Orthros had multiple heads – two to be exact – and also like Cerberus, was the offspring of some seriously demented chimeran humping going on back in the day. Aside from the fact that Orthros no Inu features TWO men with similar skills, I see zero association here with the two-headed Greek legend unless … hmmm let’s see … There are two men as leads and men are dogs. No? Since there are two men in the series they have two heads and four arms collectively just like Orthros. No? Hmmm … both men spend a lot of time walking in the rain and smell like dog. No? They eventually get slain at the end of the drama by Kevin Sorbo. No? Forget it then. I don’t know what to tell you about the title then. I am sure that I could make one up quite seriously to explain how the “single body with two minds” refers to the Universal chaos that these two men were born from and how they share the same fate of having abilities that conflict with their own personal moral fiber – a conflict that pulls them in two different directions at once much like a beast with two heads would; each side chasing after different, but equally tempting, prey. In this case, each man tries to follow his own path but inevitably is pulled off by the mere existence of the other. Not bad for bullshit eh?

Even more strange and seemingly more meaningless than the Greek title is the French painting in Ryuzaki Shinji-san's prison cell. It’s hard NOT to notice the painting since the director makes sure to include it in almost every shot. The painting is Oedipus and the Sphinx by Gustav Moreau. This painting depicts a scene from the classic tale of Oedipus where, on his journey to avoid his fate to kill his father and marry his mother, he eventually ends up at the gates of Thebes. Thebes, at the time, is currently cursed and being held hostage by a Sphinx at the gate who asks a riddle of any who wish to enter the city and devours those who fail to give the correct answer. Let’s just say she’s pretty well fed by this point and Thebes is effectively cut off from the rest of the world and in desperate need for help. Almost everyone knows this famous riddle even if they don’t know where it comes from: “What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?” The answer, of course, is man. Man crawls on all fours in infancy, walks upright on two legs in adulthood, and uses a cane as a third leg in old age. This painting, which shows Oedipus confronting the Sphinx, is hanging on the wall in Ryuzaki-san’s cell. Would anyone care to explain why? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? No? Ok then ...

There are two possibilities here …

1. The title and the painting pretend to refer to some deep complexity that is just not there and has to be created in the mind of some enthusiastic and creative viewer or

2. It is way too early in the series to determine any deeper meaning to these Greek themes.

You can decide for yourself ... but aside from the fact that there is one story of Orthros in which Oedipus is said to have tamed it as a pet, I see zero connection between these two random Greek carrots that were thrown in to an already bland tasting stew. As my tribemate said so ingeniously … "This drama as a whole lot of seasoning but no flavor." I agree and no amount of random Greek veggies are going to save a meal that neither one of Orthros' heads would want to consume.

I can hear the fans now ... but it's got Tackey and Ryo in it! WHO CARES! Takanori (TM Revolution) and Gackt couldn't save the Titanic from sinking even if they were both on it, performing duets, and doing YAOI oriented activities together on deck under the moonlight. No amount of FAN LOVE and FAN WORSHIP can excuse this crap acting. The performances in Orthros were so horribly "phoned in" that I think I saw bluetooth headsets growing out of the actors' foreheads. Watching this episode was like watching the Thriller video without music, in black and white, and with crippled dancers who all only have one leg each. A good cast can never cover up bad writing and competent actors can't save bad dialog.

Nishikido Ryo is not my favorite actor but I know he has a ginormous following in the drama community. Why? Is there something really appealing about a guy who looks like a rapist? Every time he is on screen he looks like he's getting his mugshot taken or that he's falling asleep. When he smiles it's so super creepy I feel like I need to take a shower. And yes, I did see him in Last Friends, and yes I thought that role was perfect for him because he's gross anyway. He is the most ass boring actor I have ever watched. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not racist at all. I love plenty of amazing Indian actors and I've seen a ton of outstanding movies that ... huh? He's not Indian? He wasn't in Slumdog Millionaire? I could have sworn ... Well, I loved him in Ong Bak 2, he really should stick to stunt work because his acting is terrible ... huh? He's not Thai either? Well, either way, I give him props for being back on screen at all. After seeing him on that episode of Intervention I was surprised he recovered so well after smoking all that crack. He still looks a bit sickly but I guess that's to be expected. The dark circles under the eyes, the yellowing skin, and that perpetual exhausted look probably are ... huh? He's not a recovering crack addict either? Damn. What's up with him then?

And then there's Mizukawa Asami. I have seen Mizukawa-san in three dramas now and in every one I say the same thing. WHY THE HELL IS SHE SO PISSED OFF ALL THE TIME? I have come to the realization that her face simply settles naturally into the permanent expression that I call, The Pouwel. Slightly similar to the classic French pout, The Pouwel is the delightfully provocative and annoying offspring of a pout and a scowl. Mizukawa-san seems to carry this face normally. It is, in fact, her relaxed look. I am also inclined to believe that she sleeps like this. When she smiles I feel slightly uneasy because it seems so abnormal for her. A smile seems like a lot of work for Mizukawa-san. It takes so much strength and focus for her to hold it for even a minute that when she finally let's it go her whole posture changes. Observe below ...

Exhibit A: The Abnormal Face Timecode: 25:19

Exhibit B: The Pouwel Timecode: 25:23

No matter what, Mizukawa-san always looks like she either just farted and it smells like sushi or she just ate sushi and it tasted like a fart or someone else just farted and it smells worse than hers. Either way it's not attractive but I can see how many people think it is because Mizukawa-san is a beautiful woman and I totally acknowledge that. However, the fact that she spends 90% of her screen time looking like she just took a dump in her pants is not that appealing.

Want to know what characters make up the rest of this hot mess? Get a barf bag ...

One super hot and creepy coroner chick who actually says things like, "It looks like divine punishment." and loves red meat and beautiful corpses (of course she does). Plus ...

One smarmy and seedy looking C.I.A agent (of course he is) who investigates "things he shouldn't poke his nose into" (of course he does). Sasaki-san you should be ashamed. Plus ...

One shady punk looking, gaudy shirt wearing, fake tattoo having M&M dealer and his mini gang of morons. Oh sorry, I mean ecstasy (of course they are) dealer. Plus ...

One possibly corrupt female politician (how could she not be) with a secret heart condition ... Equals ... LAME, CLICHE, PREDICTABLE, AND UNINSPIRED.

To paraphrase Sigourney Weaver in Galaxy Quest ... Whoever wrote this drama should commit seppuku ... very slowly. I've read comics on Bazooka gum wrappers that have more substance. A drug dealer, a corrupt politician, a mischievous C.I.A agent, a determined cop ... and the supernatural? It's like a bad Stephen King novella that would probably just be called "Orthros" and on the front would be a ferocious raised-relief artwork of some two-headed Saint Bernard drooling through a Lecter-like restraint muzzle. I know this is only episode 1 of 8 (And don't get me wrong, I intend to watch this series all the way to the end) but still ... with something like this you need to really grab the viewer right out of the gate, not only because it's a short series, but because the concept lends itself to the idea that you're in for an intriguing and unique experience. When the cage opened on Orthros no Inu, the dog I expected to jump out and tear out my jugular looked more like a wet pug in MC Hammer pants and nothing like the two-headed Greek monstrosity for which this drama is named.